The Outermind

Content beyond the norm!

The Parent Trap: Your Relationship Is Unique To You

Photo by Andy Smith

Photo by Andy Smith

If you are someone who saw your parents in long-lasting loving marriage, do not expect to “have what your parents have.”  On a very basic level you are not and will never be your mother/father and neither will your significant other.  Plus, the era in which your parents dated in is different from yours.  The status of women in society has to some degree evolved and continues to do so as time marches on.

Some women have become equal to their significant others if not the head of household.  This is due to the women having access to more resources (finances, education, physical rights etc).  Independent lifestyles for women have made having a man as the stereotypical spouse more of a strong desire than a necessity.  The gap is still there, but it is closing.

Along with the empowerment of women, comes general individuality.  A child is not an exact replica of their same-sex parent.  He or she is a combination of the two making him/her unique in his/her own way.  That child’s future mate is will be a blend of his/her own unique parents.  So to replicate the exact bond a child’s parents have is not going to happen.

Your parents have their own internal quirks and issues past and present that you are more than likely not privy to.  If all information about your parents and their marriage are not known, how can you say want to copy them.  You cannot copy what you do not know.  Parents generally keep certain marital issues away from their offspring in order to display a strong union and positive image.  Some issues may be finances, fairness, communication, philosophies, sex, interest in the other and even infidelity by either parent.

One thing you should aspire to replicate if not exceed is their longevity, which takes work.  Work that you may not have seen because you were shielded from it.  Try to make the strongest bond you can unique to you and your partner that way it will be as special as you need it to be.  In the end it may be stronger than what your parents ever dreamed of having.


One comment on “The Parent Trap: Your Relationship Is Unique To You

  1. untilly7
    May 11, 2014

    Recently I was discussing with a friend the extent to which we replicate the failures in our parents relationships in an attempt to resolve them. I think we do and often there’s not much free will involved since it’s instinctive. I like the positive view expressed in your blog,I’d rather choose something else.


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This entry was posted on May 10, 2014 by in Mannish and tagged , , , , , , , , , , .
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