The Outermind

Content beyond the norm!

Think Partner Not Provider


There have been complaints from educated women that their less educated and functional contemporaries are being chosen as mates by the educated and functioning males.  Well, some of those educated women have to take some blame for this issue.  So much propaganda has been put out in the world about the man is to be the provider and the protector of his home and some of these educated women are a part of it.  A woman education and career are not her downfalls, however they have drawbacks.

In extreme cases, men will choose a woman who needs him over than a woman who wants him.  Not realizing that sex is a necessity that the Dolphin or the Jack Rabbit can not provide, he chooses power over sex and partnership.  He may feel that since the independent woman really does not need to provided for and protected, he opts for the less educated and/or less resourceful woman.  A woman who may be financially dependent with children, no paternal support and no drive.  He sees this as an opportunity to have someone he can potentially control to make himself feel superior.

Love and sex are human needs, but for some men power and control are wants that supersede both.  If a man wants to be the full provider and protector of his household that is his choice and no one else.  There are different ways to provide and protect, but when some men hear those words they think alpha-dog in the relationship.  That includes physically, intellectually, spiritually and more importantly financially.  In fact, it is safe to say men of today were raised to be alpha-dogs.  Money is not all powerful, but it carries a significant amount of weight.  And money is a mean to resources and that is where the “provider-protector” mentality is all about.

The modern day woman should be proud of her accomplishments as an individual.  Of course a turn-off for some men is the excessive boasting of said accolades.  Women have grown in society over the past several decades and have become autonomous.  Long gone are the days where women would rely on her family or her husband to be their main source of stability.  The gap has not closed in education and earnings, but it is closing.  The women who can do things on their own sometimes the generic provider-protector lines.

The conversation for these women may need to change.  As opposed to demanding a man be something they do not need (provider and protector), demand that a man be a partner. Someone who is beside you and not over or in front of you.  Women no longer need the resources of a man to survive, but his companionship to thrive.

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This entry was posted on May 5, 2014 by in Mannish and tagged , , , , , , , .
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